The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the MindAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, making love carries immense significance and consequences.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good also).
B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, well-being, closeness, and love .
When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction see this here and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that numerous of his my site customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys especially in city locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".
Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!