The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to incredibly hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong this article and involuntary , resulting in effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, love, well-being, and nearness .
When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay men particularly in urban locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
However, North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.
To prevent the check over here Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- great post to read while feeling all those amazing sparks!