The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the BrainAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and effects.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready too).
B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to extremely difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and nearness .
However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that many of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is readily offered, which in straight from the source itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay guys want to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex check my reference isn't going to ready?".
North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.
why not find out more When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!